Daring Spirit

Too Many Happenings, So Little Time

2007-02-13T00:59:22Z

Damn! January just seem to have flown by!

Hmmm...my classes I'm taking thus far: Cinema 100 (Art of the Cinema), Anthropology 110 (Introduction to Archaeology), Philosophy 101(Reality and Knowledge), Theatre 116 (Scene Study), Oceanography 101, and a self-study Math class again. And yes, I am swamped, bombarded, buried under piles upon piles of homework, fresh wounds from heartbreak leaving me with a non-existent love life and dreading the approaching Valentine's Day , and a continuously, constantly deteriorating social life! Plus, I've contracted the flu virus and was sick the whole of last week! Honestly, I've got to find some way to get back in the game!

According to my friend, I have an interesting life, which involves me having quite the weekend, though I hardly think being kissed by a gay guy could qualify as being even remotely interesting. It was on the cheek, mind you, but it was only after that that I realized he was straight or metrosexual at any rate. He was dressed reallly well in Abercrombie gear, he had feminine mannerisms, and he also thinks that every girl is beautiful in their own way. What am I supposed to think?

Well, I recently joined Singles For Christ, which is a church group part of the Christian Life Program at Mira Mesa. I was recruited by Ron, one of my former Tagalog classmates from school, and I invited Andrea to come with me so I wouldn't be alone, and WE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! We've only been to two meetings so far but the people there are extremely nice and friendly that we both felt so warmly welcomed there. The majority of people there are also Filipino, so it's kind of funny how much I felt like I was back in the Philippines. The session is from 6:30pm-9:30pm every Friday night. At the end, we all go either in several small groups or just one huge group to eat somewhere near the area. Last week it was at Island's, and I ended up sleeping over at Andrea's place because it was late at night and I didn't feel like waking up anyone when I got home.

Actually before joining SFC, Ron was making a movie and wanted to know if I could help. And I said sure, I would help. Of course something went awry when another friend of mine told him I was a theatre major (or at least taking my prerequisites to major in that area). So not only am I helping his playwright write the script, I'm doing technical, co-directing, and possibly acting as well. This was so not in my contract! Well, I just met the writer last Saturday, but instead of talking about the movie we ended up eating mussels and playing card games with Ron, Art, and Jescelle. Hee hee, I really had an awkward weekend.

So yeah, I've been a bit busy these past few weeks. And now Valentine's Day is coming up. Ugh. I'm not anti-Valentine's or anything, but it's one of those days in particular that make you realize how alone you are. It's also one of those days where you feel a powerful urge to hug someone! Hee hee, but I get that urge all the time and it's never been a problem to find someone to hug! BUT I DEMAND DARK CHOCOLATE! VALENTINE'S DAY IS A PERFECT EXCUSE TO RECEIVE DARK CHOCOLATE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*ahem* Okay...moving on.

Anyway this is a quote I just wanted to share because I believe it to be very true:

We all want to fall in love. Why?
Because that experience makes us feel completely alive,
Where every sense is heightened,
And every emotion is magnified,
Our everday reality is shattered,
and we are flung into the heavens.

It may only last a moment,
An hour, or an afternoon,
But that doesn't dimnish its value,
Because we are left with memories that we treasure
For the rest of our lives.

- From the movie The Mirror Has Two Faces

~ Mjade

Aftermath of the Holidays

2007-01-15T20:34:46Z

And yes, my miserable holidays have come to a close.

Okay, okay, I know I said that I was looking forward for the end of the holidays, that I actually wanted to go back to school as soon as possible because I couldn't stand doing nothing anymore....but, now... well, I'm actually dreading having a schedule again. And it's not just because of the mountains of work and sleepless nights up ahead, having to figure out a way to get to all my classes without getting lost on campus, or the fact that I have to make new friends all over again since classes change each semester but...I don't know what it is exactly.

I want to go back to school, but at the same time I am really REALLY hesitant. And I have no clue why.

Let's just say, I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. Normally, that would be a bad thing....but as strange as it sounds and I know it doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but it's not necessarily a.....well, a bad feeling. I don't want to say it's good either, because obviously it isn't, so let's just call it neutral or debateable for now. Whatever works.

Before the first semester and a few entries ago, I was looking forward to getting back because I had a good feeling about the first five months into my second term in college. Of course, I didn't know what it would entail exactly but I was up for anything. It turned out to be quite a good and interesting semester...until it ended that is. And even then, it wasn't a good or happy ending...it was those sort of open endings that has no real closure, which I REALLY dislike when watching a movie. Something is not settled, something is not okay, something has loose ends that needs to be tied. Problem: find the loose end.

Right now, I don't know what to think. I'm not sure if it's purely out of fear or anything, since I never was truly scared of the unknown...I think maybe, that it's sort of hard to come to terms with certain things and difficult to face certain people. I enjoy not knowing what's up ahead because it makes life interesting, but when you have an uneasy feeling...it's hard NOT to worry.

Which is probably the reason I am breaking-out the same way like I did back when I was fourteen years old. Stress is a killer and I haven't even started school yet. And I've been thinking and overanalyzing my issues, which I now believe is a dangerous pastime, and just being so self-absorbed that I'm starting to get frustrated with myself, so I have to stop.

Luckily, I've been going out a lot this past week. My friends are truly the best people someone like me could have. I went out job-hunting with a girl friend two Saturdays ago, I met up with some people in Starbucks and Ihop in hopes to gain a few pounds before school, and a friend invited me out to the movies to watch Night At the Museum, which was utterly hilarious. Ben Stiller and Robin Williams are awesome! But even with that, out with all of them, I still keep thinking about the one person I really should not be thinking too much about. What good would it be to keep dwelling on something you never quite had?

So since college starts tomorrow, I'm in a worrisome dispostion. Hopefully, if all things go according to plan today, I may be able to distract myself by driving out to Oceanside near the harbor (that or going to Applebee's to gain more weight) just to hang out with some people for a while to sort of "celebrate" the end of the holidays, if it could be called a celebration that is.

Don't mean to be a pain or to sound overly self-absorbed, but I just needed to rant, but that's done now. I'm signing off!

~ Mjade

The BIG '07

2007-01-01T22:18:37Z

And here we welcome....

THE NEW YEAR!!!!! GO 2007!

Hee hee! I can honestly say I didn't see this coming!

That's Captain Jack Sparrow to you. Just hearing the sound of your name is enough to send a chill up the spine of good, law-abiding colonials. Well, not so much a chill up the spine, but it's very likely to get them rolling their eyes, at least. Fever-addled and nonsensical at first appearance, your wits-- and the healthiest dose of luck on the Spanish Main-- keep you afloat no matter what life throws at you. Unless the rum's gone.

Which Pirates of The Caribbean Character Are You?
Find out at Shiver My Timber-- A Pirate RPG

Oh, Jack...tsk, tsk, tsk! What? Taking this quiz seemed like the right thing to do seeing as I got the POTC 2 DVD for Christmas and just watched it again two nights ago! Drink up matey, yo ho!

Happy New Year! May This Be A Time To Start Anew! All My Best To Everyone!

~ Mjade

The Eve Of The New Year

2007-01-01T02:36:17Z

And another year has come and gone...

Dear Friend,

As another year passes by, we have to once again realize how fortunate and lucky we truly are. The pain, the suffering, the fear, the anger, the sorrow, the hope, the happiness, the joy, and the love we've experienced this year. Everything has happened for a reason and it makes us even stronger than the year before.

Count your blessings and remember all the people who have become part of your life, as well as the ones who have walked in and out of your life, and embrace all the experiences that have changed you for the better. Let go of all grudges and have no regrets of meeting people you have found during this year. Whatever problems you are having, whatever pain you are going through, don't let it hold you back but instead let it open your eyes to be able to see the people who are there for you, regardless of circumstance, compassionate about all things in life, and who love you unconditionally. They are the ones who know you best, will be there to catch you, as well as let you fall to experience life as it is. After all, what truly defines who you are is not what you do, but how well you rise after falling.

On my part, I just want to say thanks to all of you. Thank you a hundred times over for becoming part of my life no matter how small a time it was. I was going through a rough phase this year and I don't know how I could have gathered the courage to face it as well as the strength to overcome it, if it weren't for all of you. You will never know how much you have helped me. Thank you for accepting me for the person I am, regardless of how odd and messed up I may be, thank you for lending an ear just to listen, encouraging me to go out and have fun, giving me a shoulder to cry on, looking out for me, and making me laugh whenever I felt less than happy. I am a lot to put up with, I know, that's why I can never tell you how truly grateful I am.

For some of you I have known since forever but for most of you I have known for only five months, yet they have been special to me and I cherish every single moment. I hope to see you and hear from you all next year and hope that no acquaintances and friendships will be forgotten.

Anyway, this entry is to signal the end of year 2006 and the start of year 2007 and to wish each and everyone of you a HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE and HAPPY NEW YEAR'S DAY! All my good wishes go with you tonight and may God bless you all!

All my love and sincerity.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE!!!

~ Mjade

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

2006-12-26T00:22:32Z

I actually have the time to update my lj on Christmas...that's all I need to say.

Christmas Eve wasn't so bad as I expected it to be. Aside from the fact that I have dulled senses because of my cold and my numerous coughing fits, attending the Christmas mass an hour and half early before the service actually started, and being dragged back to San Marcos in an uncomfortable 50 minute drive, things didn't end too badly.

That's not to say I wasn't depressed. Because being lonely and sad is a horrible feeling to have during Christmas (and I feel awful for feeling that way) and I've tried desperately to shake it off for the past couple of days but to no avail. It's still strange, because I wasn't alone this Christmas...well, not physically anyway. I'm just glad my mom called me up from the Philippines and I got to talk to Gem, my cousin, and it made me feel slightly better. I miss them so much that it's not even funny...hopefully next year, I'll get lucky.

Presents seemed to cheer me up this time though. Not that anyone is really intersted but this is what I got:

1. Wrapped in a Proactiv Solution box, I found the one thing I've been wanting desperately since it came out: THE PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 2: Dead Man's Chest DVD! From my Aunt and Uncle in San Marcos.
2. From Alexis, my cousin, I got this really revealing halter top from Silhoutte, which is not something I would willingly wear, but it's really stylish. So as soon as I find a jacket to match it, I'll wear it.
3. From Audrey, Alexis' sister, I got a long sleeve shirt this time, which is perfect for this time of the year.
4. And then from my Aunt and Uncle in Chula Vista, I got two shirts (one long sleeved and one short sleeved) from American Eagle. Loved them both.

So anyway, the presents weren't a dissapointment, but that is no where near the reason I look forward to the Christmas holiday. It's about going to Baguio, where all the family is....but I couldn't be there this year.

Back home, I usually hated receiving and opening presents time because that meant it was almost time for everybody to go home. I had so much fun at the family party, it was really hard to part ways. Fortunately, after going home at 4:30 am and waking up at 11:00 am, we prepared for the actual Christmas day party, where we just go around town to Camp John Hay, or Burnham Park, or wherever we could find a place to have a holiday picnic with family.

Well, at least that's what I would be doing were I back home.

Here in the states, I was invited to a Christmas Party where I was forced to play scorekeeper and judge for a crowd of rowdy adults playing charades or what the game called itself : "Guesstures." And these were adults over 30 for crying out loud! For once, I felt very mature compared to them. I've been asked several times by them whether I was American, Russian, or Persian......ugh, can no one get it through their heads that I AM IN FACT A FILIPINO! Well, with 1/4 Irish blood.....but honestly come on. If you hear me speaking in Taglish, that's proof enough.

So yes, that's Christmas for me this year. My first Christmas in the states, and I'm miserable. I tried to be optimistic, I tried not to think too hard about things that has happened to me throughout the year, trying to block out the bad memories with good ones. It worked....but only temporarily, and now I am back here in Chula Vista distracting myself with a Rubik's cube. If Will Smith can do it in Pursuit of Happyness there is no reason why I can't do the same!

So yes:

A HAPPY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

And here I am, signing off with one of my favorite Christmas songs (I'm very odd, get used to it):

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yuletide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here were are as in olden days,
happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together,
if the Fates allow.
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

~ Mjade

Holiday Blues

2006-12-24T02:48:41Z

Sadly, the holiday cheer has not yet caught up with me.

I'm not trying to be cynical, not trying to be ungrateful, nor am I trying to ruin anyone's happy mood or Christmas spirit (I would never hope for something like that on anyone)...but unfortunately, I am not in the highest of spirits right now. You'd think that now that the finals are over, school is out, and the holidays have started...I'd be ecstatic. Apparently, that is not the case. I'm rather depressed, which is a strange and very odd feeling for me. For one thing, I'm usually quite optimistic and enjoy smiling a great deal, and for another thing no work, no school.....but then again, no friends either, nothing much to look forward to, and I haven't genuinenly smiled for weeks. And of course there is that thing I just can't deal with: I CAN'T STAND DOING NOTHING!

Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. It was my favorite time of the year and my favorite holiday. It beats Valentine's, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and even my birthday. Why? Because I get to go back home where I grew up, I get to spend time with my family where I belong, and I get to feel happy without any sort of remorse or regret....however, this year it's different.

I don't have enough money to fly home, I have to spend time with my other relatives yet I don't feel like a part of them, and the happiness I usually feel during Christmas is withering away from me. Instead it is replaced with my being ill and suffering from the flu virus. It may not be a happy Christmas for me, but I won't put a damper on anyone else's. All I have to do is count my blessings and dream about home, for that's where my heart is.

I'll be home for Christmas,
You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me,
Where the love light gleams.
I'll be home for Christmas,
If only in my dreams.
Christmas Eve will find me,
Where the love light gleams.
I'll be home for Christmas,
If only in my dreams...

That is really the only thing I wanted this Christmas. I wanted to go home.... but when I realized I couldn't , I decided it wasn't so bad. Because I had a friend close by that I could always talk to...however, three days before the semester was officially over, he ended whatever there was between us and that's that. Of course, I could find comfort elsewhere but even my other friends who are staying for Christmas are busy with the festivities and I don't feel good burdening them about my problems...it just wouldnt be right.

I should not feel this way because Christmas has a deeper meaning than what we normally think of when we hear about it. In a way, the Christmas holiday also represents a sense of harmony, belonginess, and tells us that we are never really alone, for the ones who love us never truly leave us.

Wise Words

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.

Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.

~ Mjade

"Iffy Mode" Switched Off

2006-09-27T21:27:13Z

Okay first things first...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Yes, I have been down for a couple of days. Little things making me angry and sarcastic, authority figure's nagging getting on my nerves, exams first thing in the morning, two essays due on the same day making me irritable and pessimistic, and I refuse to blame it on "it's just that time of the month" rubbish. I'm usually slow to anger, a quite optimistic outlook of life, and I'm only sarcastic when I'm joking around, so this whole "iffy mode" as I call it, was new to me. Did I like it? Hell no! So, I'm glad to tell you it has officially switched off for now!

Right then, why has it switched off? Number of reasons actually.
Well after freaking out over an exam that seemed relatively okay and getting an A on my Dr. King essay analysis, I had a presentation in my musical theatre class. I'm okay with the dancing, I'm okay with the acting, it's the singing in front of people that scares the hell out of me. We had to sing theatre/broadway songs, which didn't really bother me, it was just WHY DID MY SONG HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT TO SING?

"On My Own" from Les Miserables is a beautiful and very sad song, but for the first few weeks I COULDN'T REACH THE BLOODY HIGH NOTE TOWARDS THE END! Well, okay I could but I had the hardest time maintaining it. Then magically, on the day of the performance, costume, shaking knees, and everything....I DID IT! I sang my freaking heart out and had to mask my surprise coz I needed to cry a little towards the end of the song, but I couldn't since I was so happy to have done that part perfectly! Hee hee!

So yes, that's the end of that vocal chapter, now we move on to dance starting Thursday. I have a Jazz dance class tomorrow as well, so it's all good. AND NOW I'M HAPPY AND OPTIMISTIC AGAIN! WOOHOO!

Random Note: Oooh I just saw the new OOTP picture a few days ago on CV! Here it is: DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY!

I'm guessing from left to right: Terry Boot, Zacharias Smith, Ginny Weasley, Parvati Patil, George Weasley, Padma Patil, Cho Chang, Fred Weasley, Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom,Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Nigel something, and Dean Thomas.
On how I know which of the twins is which, don't ask.

Unless, I'm very much mistaken there are quite a few people missing. I know Seamus only joined much later, but how about Cho's friend, Marietta , Michael Corner, who was Ginny's boyfriend, and I don't know whether Lavender was in it or not, but since Parvati is there I would have expected it. Well, I know they could only add a few people, but in case anybody is wondering there are around 30 members in the DA, I think.

Aw, poor Harry, they shaved off his characteristically thick, unruly hair. Hee hee, Dean looks so good tall! And I'm still wondering why Ginny is the only girl wearing pants. And the Weasley Twins? Hotness, right there! LOL!

~ Mjade

Ballet Is NOT For Sissys!

2006-09-12T20:40:07Z

And I wholly support that statement too!

Not like it's important, life-threatening or anything, but my legs are still sore from dancing last Wednesday. I think it was mainly of the excessive grand plies we did and my feet were turned out too much that my legs were at an awkward angle! I had been walking like a Penguin for the first few days directly after the first ballet class, and you can imagine the strange looks I've been getting. Oh well, that's when "screw the world" attitude, came in handy! LOL!

But strangely the ache is only in my calves. My upper leg and thighs are totally unscathed, which is weird since we had to do a lot of jumps. Basically, split in midair! I guess I should have expected it because of no regular daily exercise and lack of practice. I haven't danced for a year! Can you believe it?! Maybe that's why I was so restless the year before! I needed a physical class, badly!

Finally, I got one here in college, and you have NO IDEA how much I missed it! It was also partially invigorating when I started dancing again. I used to do mainly jazz in high school, but modern ballet seems awesome too. BUT IT'S NOT EASY AT ALL! Though I must admit it was entertaining watching the only THREE boys in our class plie! Hee hee!

Anyways, just one of those useless notes of mine:
I seriously could not see the road this morning! The weather here fluctuates like crazy! It was rain and there was this intense fog, where you are seriously blinded because you can't see anything! Now the sun's up and shining! Talk about weird!

~ Mjade

Summer's End

2006-08-20T23:17:19Z

Can you believe I'm actually looking forward to going back to school?

No not that way, but I've done really nothing special this summer. I've just been going back and forth from San Marcos to Chula Vista and back to San Marcos again. I also went for few days to Las Vegas to visit my relatives living there and to attend my cousin's high school graduation party. I just spent most of my time sitting in the back talking to my much younger male cousin who has just decided to go on a diet. Not the most interesting thing as you can imagine, but I guess it's partly my fault since I didn't really feel like mingling with semi-drunk people. It's just kind of weird when two of your uncles are forcing yours truly to have a shot of tequila. Everyone's dream come true, huh? But I didn't want to wake up with some major hangover the next day. I was even wondering if they were even aware I was still underage by two years.

Anyway, yes the reason I am looking forward to the beginning of school is because I CANNOT STAND DOING NOTHING ANYMORE!!! It's not in my nature to be able to handle that and I may be used to procrastinating but I'm not used to having too much free time in the middle of the holiday. Free time and anything relating to that are only useful during the middle of a school week. Otherwise, I can just very well die of boredom!

So yes, my second year at college starts tomorrow. And I really have no idea exactly what I'm supposed to do with this next semester. Well, I'm taking a fair few classes, there's English 202 Critical Thinking, Biology 101, and one language (I chose Filipino since I'm semi-well versed in it already), which, unfortunately, are all required. I'm thinking about taking Psychology of Abnormal Behavior, could be interesting. I also want to take a Theatre class for fun since I seem to enjoy drama back in high school. I also need to talk to one of the guidance counselors whether it is so important that I have to drop my P.E. class just to take U.S. history. Anyway, I'm planning to hopefully transfer to a a University next year that I can afford. So it's a lot to do and I need to maintain my 3.5 GPA. I'm not the best student but I'm trying here!

I'm going to stop now because I'm getting slightly nauseous with all the "school" talk, which is a bit too soon since school is still not for another 16 hours. This is definitely the end of summer!

~ Mjade

Sure, Why Not?

2006-08-17T06:06:57Z

Hey! I got this from majzen11 and sellthelie!

With the start of my second year at college just around the corner, I still seem to have a few days left of free time, so why not, right? Well, guys it's your turn! So go ahead and fill it out!

1. Name:
2. Age/Birthday:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist:
7. Favorite Book/Comic Book:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Favorite TV Show:
10. Favorite Video Game/Board Game:
11. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal?
12. Would you give me a kidney?
13. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
14. If you could change anything about your current life, would you?
15. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

~ Mjade

Fanfiction: No Fairytale Lasts Forever

2006-08-16T00:34:55Z

Another fic I wrote once again. Just blame it on those weird random urges I tend to get frequently. ;)

Not the usual kind of pieces I write since I normally set my stories during the HP& co.'s seventh year or sometime post-hogwarts. But there was this certain scene in the movie that was seriously lacking and seemed unfinished. I mean, what else was there left to do? I went and finished it!

Believe it or not, this story actually came from a dialogue my friend and I constructed in the span of a few minutes at 1 in the morning, on a whim, no previous outline or planned in anyway. Which is why it probably may not be the best piece I have written but it was fun to do.

After all, it is the Yule Ball with that oh-so-famous line "...even he [Draco] didn't seem to be able to find an insult throw at her." You didn't expect me to just leave it alone did you?

Title: No Fairytale Lasts Forever
Author: Mjade
Rating: PG/Romance
Disclaimer: Although I’d love to lay claim on Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini, I can’t. All Harry Potter-related characters and places belong to J.K. Rowling.
Warning: A tad fluffy, but nothing too bad.
Summary: Takes place during the Yule Ball.
He somehow expected that if he finally realized that the girl he was so completely entranced by was in fact Hermione Granger, he’d finally get a hold of himself. As fate would have it, Draco didn’t see that happening anytime soon.
Dedication: My thanks and deepest gratitude goes to my amazing beta, hiryuu, who fearlessly put up with me and helped me finish this story!

Draco never considered Hermione Granger beautiful. In his world, he knew full well that the words “Granger” and “beautiful” didn’t belong in the same sentence. They just simply didn’t. However, the moment the Great Hall doors swung open and the Yule Ball commenced, those two words combined into one phrase that reverberated in his head like a relentless mantra, making known to him that his world had certainly turned upside down.

For right there in front of him was Granger, only it wasn’t her.

The person before him couldn’t possibly be the Hermione Granger he knew and hated. She walked through those grand doors into the magnificently decorated hall, in an exquisite gown of periwinkle blue, with a sense of regality and elegance that he never thought she possessed. Gone was the girl who was usually weighed down by a bag filled with dozens of books slung over her shoulder. Instead, there stood a lady who carried herself far differently with an air of newfound confidence. Her hand rested atop the arm of her Bulgarian date, a radiant smile on her face. She was utterly stunning.

Potter had seemed shocked yet pleased with her appearance. Parvati Patil had gazed at her in unflattering disbelief and her sister, Padma, had stared at her incredulously. Pansy Parkinson looked more and more like a fish as she gaped at her, Krum’s fan club shot her glares of deepest loathing, and more than half of the male population at Hogwarts had dropped their jaws at the sight of her. Weasley, on the other hand, didn’t even recognize her. And she, completely oblivious to their utter and downright surprise, positively glowed yet still slightly nervous of their scrutiny.

But Draco just stood there, his face showing no signs of any expression whatsoever. Yet, that did not reflect what he felt on the inside.

This couldn’t be the Mudblood he had hated for all those years. This was not, in any shape or form, Hermione Granger. Despite all his doubts and denial, the fact that “Granger was beautiful” still persistently nagged at the back of his mind.

Pansy had left the Yule Ball early, from becoming increasingly frustrated with Draco’s lack of attention towards her. She had asked him numerous times to dance, but he either just looked at her blankly or graced her with a reply of “huh?”. He seemed vaguely aware that she was sitting right next to him or possibly didn’t register that she even existed. As far as Draco was concerned, the fact that he had asked Pansy Parkinson to be his date for the Yule Ball never happened. His mind appeared to be focused solely on only one thing; the radiant girl in lovely blue robes that supposedly was not his nemesis’ best friend.

Draco just spent most of his time at the ball watching, completely captivated by the sight of the gorgeous girl dancing with the big-shot Quidditch player. He caught every ripple of her gown as she moved, sensed her confidence as she elegantly executed each step of the waltz, and saw how her face broke into a dazzling smile as Krum lifted her into the air. Draco never knew you could feel so enchanted and so spellbound just by looking at someone.

Eventually, Professor Flitwick had clambered onto the stage to announce that the Weird Sisters had arrived. And as the band played, the music blaring, the girl in blue robes was lost in the crowd and out of Draco’s view.

Draco blinked, finally returning back to his old self. Where had his mind been all this time? How could something that was supposed to be entirely trivial consume his thoughts? He had not, he couldn’t have been…oh dear Merlin…

Was I just ogling Hermione Granger?

***

It seemed to be nearing the end of the Yule Ball. Most of the students had gone back to their houses (or started their own balls in empty classrooms and broom closets); only the professors and some young couples still remained dancing. As for Draco, he lazily rested his chin on his hand, apparently very bored.

However, he was still quite unnerved by his reaction to Granger. What the bloody hell had come over him? He had acted like— like some lovesick puppy, and Draco Malfoy was anything but that. Fortunately for him, the magic and fairytale absurdity didn’t last, and Draco was quite grateful for that fact.

Draco spotted his fellow Slytherins, Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini, who had some Ravenclaw fifth year with her arms wrapped about his neck, exiting the dance floor and walking towards him.

Since Zabini and the Ravenclaw were still pretty much engaged with each other, Nott spoke first.

“Ready to go mate?” Nott asked. “Zabini here is a bit sloshed— let’s just say somebody managed to smuggle some Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey in. Shall we head back to the common room?”

Draco, who found no real purpose in staying, was about to answer when—

“He’s using you,” a familiar voice broke into his daze.

“How dare you!” another, even more familiar voice, said indignantly.

Draco turned towards the voices and that’s when he saw them. Weasley, wearing a rather awful vest over his equally awful shirt, and Granger, still in her elegant blue gown, were both red in the face.

Draco ceased all movement and held his breath. For some reason, seeing Granger like this, cheeks flushed red and a determined look in her eyes, didn’t help him in the least.

I could definitely use some of Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey right now.

He somehow expected that if he finally realized that the girl he was so completely entranced by was in fact Hermione Granger, he’d finally get a hold of himself. As fate would have it, Draco didn’t see that happening anytime soon.

“Besides, I can take care of myself!” Granger said determinedly, lifting her chin.

Although he hated to admit it, even only to himself, Draco had no doubts whatsoever that she could in fact take care of herself. No one knew better than he that she knew more hexes and curses to last her a lifetime. A pity her redheaded friend didn’t seem to agree.

“I doubt it,” Weasley muttered, glaring at her. “He’s way too old!”

“What?!” Granger shrieked, sounding appalled. “What?! That’s what you think?!”

“Yeah, that’s what I think!” Weasley retorted, turning around to face her.

So that’s what this is about? Draco thought. Did Weasley finally get some sense knocked into him enough to figure out that Granger is indeed a girl? Is Weasley jealous that she showed up here with Krum instead of him?

Draco saw them reach the entrance doors. There were still some students loitering around outside. A few couples were still dancing slowly to non-existent music, one couple had their arms around each other’s waist walking towards the other doors, two males and two females where lined up against the wall chatting, but they all stopped what they were doing as Weasley and Granger stepped out into the middle of it all, both of them seeming rather oblivious to their surroundings.

“You know the solution then, don’t you?” She said angrily, taking long strides to catch up with the redhead.

“Go on,” Weasley said, but he was walking away quickly, clearly wanting to get away from her.

Granger stopped in front of Weasley, swinging around wildly to face him and halting his escape plan. But that’s when Draco noticed there was something other than rage in her eyes.

Draco looked at Granger…no, she can’t be…

Weasley had an identical look on his face when he looked back up at the girl in front of him.

“Next time there’s a ball, pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does, and not as a last resort!” She finally screamed at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

Everyone around them stared.

Both the redhead and Draco were completely taken aback. Sure, they had both seen her upset before, Draco himself mostly the main cause, but Hermione had always stood her ground, careful not to shed a single tear. Neither really expected this of her, but there she was, yelling at Weasley hysterically, tears falling freely from her eyes.

“Well, th—that,” Weasley stammered. He was clearly not used to seeing her in this state. He suddenly felt guilty, but his stubbornness didn’t dare let him give her that satisfaction. “Th-that’s out—that’s just completely off the point.” He looked over her shoulder and sighed in relief. “Harry!”

Potter had just re-entered the hall from his walk in the courtyard and appeared right behind her. Draco noticed he had a rather pensive look on his face.

Granger spun around setting her anger on him instead “Where have you been?”

Potter was caught off guard, the pensive look that had previously been on his face vanished instantly and turned into one of bewilderment. He started gesturing behind him, but before he could even begin to explain, Granger cut him off.

“Never mind! Off to bed, both of you!”

Potter, still quite confused, heeded her order without question, fearing her wrath, and both him and Weasley started up the stairs.

Weasley leaned over to his friend and muttered, “They get scary when they get older.”

Unfortunately for both of them, Granger had heard.

“Ron, you spoiled everything!” Granger shouted at him, running up to them but a small sound like something cracked stopped her in her pursuit. She looked down and realized that the heel of her shoe had snapped. Exhausted, she collapsed onto the stairs, broke down and cried.

***

Everyone that had witnessed the rather hostile exchange between Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger seemed to leave immediately, but Draco could not move.

What the hell had just happened?

Sure, they had fought several times on occasion, Draco playing witness to some of them, but it was never like this. Ron acted as predicted, it was Hermione’s reaction that irked Draco. He didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to feel or why he should even feel something in the first place. He watched her collapse, he watched her throw off her ruined shoe, and he watched her cry, her hair falling across her face. But what really surprised him, was how he found that image of her completely breathtaking.

“Malfoy? You okay mate?”

Draco slapped himself mentally and tore his eyes away from Hermione’s form to look at Nott. “Why don’t you guys go on without me. I’ll catch up.”

The Slytherin shrugged. “If you say so.”

Nott started to leave, grabbing Zabini’s arm and trying to detach his mouth from his Ravenclaw date, as they made their way to the Slytherin dungeons.

Draco let out an exasperated sigh and raised his fingers to massage his temples. He desperately needed to clear his head. He had way too many thoughts swirling around in his mind that ought to not have been there anyway. He grabbed the glass of punch in front of him and quickly downed it. Although he was still feeling slightly light-headed, he finally stood up from his chair and made his way to the Great Hall doors.

Upon exiting, Draco found the place completely deserted. No students, no professors, not even Filch and his mangy cat, Mrs. Norris, patrolling the corridors. However, of all the rotten luck, one lone figure remained sitting on the stairs, one figure that inevitably belonged to none other than Hermione Granger.

Draco scowled inwardly. Just exactly what was he supposed to do now? He realized his mistake too late. He should have gone with Nott and Zabini towards the Slytherin common room when he had the chance, in order to avoid the awkwardness of passing her distressed form by himself.

He decided to just suck it up, ignore her, and just walk past her. How hard could it be? He’d done it several times with various other people…just not her. Relying on his determination, he decided to do just that. But as he took one more step away from the Great Hall, his resolve fell away, and he couldn’t help himself. Still in her beautiful gown, loose tendrils and curls framing her face, Hermione Granger looked positively mesmerizing.

What the bloody hell was it about this girl that compelled him to go to her? Because it was at that moment he realized, to his utter horror, that his legs seemed to be working of their own accord. His head was screaming at him to stop and he was reminding himself over and over again how he shouldn’t care about her or the current state she was in. But no matter how hard he tried, it didn’t seem like his cerebellum wanted to agree with the rest of his brain.

This was ridiculous, why should he be afraid of coming within reach of her? He walked resolutely towards her to…to do what, exactly? He had no clue. He approached her cautiously, wondering whether or not she’d notice him and hex him into the next decade. However, she didn’t move a muscle. Her eyes were downcast, as if she was intently studying the floor. All Draco could hear was her steady breathing, far calmer than it had been when she was crying.

Suddenly the silence and the fact that she was not reacting to anything at all started to get on Draco’s nerves. This was Hermione Granger, for crying out loud. If there was one person who couldn’t keep quiet, it was her. Always attentive, always involved, and always wanting to have the last word. The Yule Ball couldn’t have stripped that much from her. He found her silence quite uncanny, and he was starting to grow uncomfortable. He decided this was it. He had to break the silence.

“What’s wrong, Granger?” He said, sneering at her. “Did Krum finally see the error of his ways and dump you for a Beauxbaton girl? Or did Potter and Weasley get all jealous that the Quidditch star seeker chose you over them? I mean, that was quite a scene you three caused.”

Hermione didn’t even flinch.

“Malfoy, I am really not in the mood right now,” she replied quietly, not bothering to look up at him.

He stared at her.

Okay, what just happened there?

Just awhile ago he was trying his best to completely and totally ignore her and even found out he couldn’t and there Hermione was, successfully ignoring him without even having to try.

How dare she brush him off?

Who did she think she was? If there were going to be any brushing off, he’d be the one doing it.

Draco Malfoy glared at her. He was going to get a reaction out of her, dammit, whether she liked it or not.

“Oh come now, Granger,” He jeered. He sat down on the steps beside her, deciding he’d taunt her. “Where’s the fun in that? I haven’t called you Mudblood all night, the least you could do is humor me.”

Hermione finally lifted her head to look at him, her eyes glinting with annoyance and irritation.

“You really don’t get it, do you, Malfoy?” She spat at him. “I am not here for amusement, and I’m certainly not here for you! For once in your sad and pathetic life, can you get it through your thick skull that I want to be left the hell alone?!”

Draco did a double take. The ferocity in her voice almost made him take a step back. Aside from being fairly shocked by her immediate anger, did Granger—proper, polite, goody-two-shoes Granger—just swear?

“You know all I wanted was to be seen as someone special for one night!” she cried at him. “Someone who mattered just for one moment. To be seen as someone other than the bookish, bossy, know-it-all that everyone seems to categorize me as!”

This was so absurd that Draco almost laughed out loud, but he knew that that action would surely leave him severely injured. He had always thought that all she cared about was maintaining good grades and excelling in academics. Who would have known that Granger with her bookish demeanor actually cared about something that he thought she had always considered as utter nonsense? He never thought that being branded as the know-it-all she is would bother her so much.

“You know, I can’t even begin to describe what coming down those steps and walking into the Great Hall was like,” she continued, her eyes almost taking a wistful expression. “It felt like a dream. It was like Cinderella. It was like living in my own fairytale. Silly I know, but at that moment I didn't care what anybody else thought. I never felt more happy than I did walking through those doors.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. Exactly, why was she telling him all this? And who the hell is Cinderella? He also wondered if she was even vaguely aware that he was still actually there listening to her ramble on. Did she realize that she sounded like some love struck silly little girl?

“I guess that deep down I’ve always wondered what it felt like to know that I could make so many heads turn, to have people looking at me in admiration, catching someone’s attention without having to utter a single word. To feel good and satisfied about myself. No longer insecure, no longer having to keep up this façade of a cold exterior, having to hide behind my books, my intellect, my…”

What the hell was this stupid bint on about?

Draco didn’t know what to say, not that he could get a word in with her ranting on like that. Nor did he want to hear about her problems…damn, he really should have just walked past her without a second thought. What was he thinking going over to her? Clearly, she’s completely lost it.

Hermione trailed off.

Draco looked at her; still slightly unnerved by the way she was acting. She seemed sort of dazed and he was starting to feel a bit apprehensive.

“Okay, Granger, I think you might have had a little too much—“

He stopped abruptly. If Draco had thought Hermione was angry with Ron before, that could not even describe the look on her face now.

Hermione’s brows knitted together and her eyes flashed with rage. She looked rather scary and it took all of Draco’s willpower not to back away.

“I mean, is it too much to ask?!” She spat viciously. She started shaking uncontrollably. “One night! Just one night, for everything to be perfect! I must have been such an idiot to think that this fairytale would last!”

She started flailing her arms wildly and her eyes were once again shedding uncontrollable tears. The way she was crying with complete abandon gave Draco the impression that she had been holding it in for a really long time. How long exactly, he couldn’t tell. He really didn’t know what to do.

It was not as if he could reassure her or comfort her. Not only was he not used to it but this was Granger. If this world still made sense, him, the pureblood, would never stoop so low as to offer his condolences to a Mudblood. If this world still made any sense, Hermione wouldn’t have shown that something like this extremely bothered her. Especially in front of him. She had always stood her ground, always appearing so strong on the outside. However, it was the second time tonight that this girl had flipped Draco’s world the wrong side up.

“BUT DID THEY HAVE TO RUIN IT FOR ME?!” She cried hysterically, tears streaming down her face. “TO SPOIL THE ONE NIGHT I STOOD A CHANCE TO SHOW EVERYONE HOW WRONG THEY WERE ABOUT ME! WHAT WAS I THINKING? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN MY DREAMS AND THE HARSH REALITY! I ALWAYS WAS THE SENSIBLE ONE, THE LOGICAL ONE, AND FOR ONCE I FELT INCREDIBLY TIRED OF IT!”

Hermione began to tremble. She basically started screaming out all her frustration and anger, not caring who heard her, not caring who saw her, not caring that her worst enemy was the one that was listening and watching her lose complete control of herself.

“BUT I WAS SO STUPID TO THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE ONE BOY FELT THAT I WAS SOMEONE WORTH ASKING TO THE BALL, IT ALSO MEANT THAT TWO OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WOULD SEE IT THE SAME WAY! IT'S RIDICULOUS THAT I EVEN CONSIDERED THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE! I WOULD NEVER BE SEEN AS ANYTHING ELSE IN THEIR EYES! I WAS JUST A LAST RESORT TO THEM, NOTHING MORE! JUST SOME BACK UP PLAN, IN CASE EVERY OTHER FEMALE IN THE CASTLE WAS TAKEN!”

And once again, for the second time that night as well, Draco had played witness to her break down. However, he felt something else he was not accustomed to feeling: He was completely and utterly stunned speechless.

She clutched her legs closer to her chest and buried her face in her knees not caring if she stained her gown. Her shoulders were shaking violently as well, and to Draco, he had never seen a more depressing image. Of course, there were times he had done that too, frequently in fact, during his childhood. But it wasn’t the same.

Apparently, Hermione had expected this night to be special. Some fairytale dream come true, as she had said. Draco never really believed in fairytales. To him, they were just stories to enchant the young and naïve. But obviously, they meant something to her…something much more. It was then, for some reason unknown to him, he had a sudden urge to hex both Weasley and Potter into oblivion.

Draco took a deep breath. “Granger, I—I don’t know what to say…”

Suddenly, Hermione’s head shot up, her eyes shooting glares at him. It seemed to Draco that it didn’t take long for her to switch gears once again. Clearly, her anger had recharged and was now directed at him.

“Is there really anything to say, Malfoy?” She practically snarled at him. “In fact, I don't give a damn on anything you have to say! As if my night has not been ruined enough by those two, you have to join in!”

Draco stared at her, taken aback by her sudden change in disposition. Here he was, being remotely civil to her for some bizarre reason, and she still had the audacity and gall to yell at him.

“Now, hang on one minute! I—“

However, Hermione didn’t let another word in.

“Does anything ever surprise you or catch you off guard?” She demanded heatedly. “Do you feel any remorse whatsoever on anything you ever do? Why do you have to sit there and enjoy my misery? Does this give you some sick sort of pleasure? Why can't you just leave me be?!”

What the hell is she talking about? Draco thought angrily. This certainly was a strange turn in events.

When did everything suddenly become his fault? Why the hell should he feel any remorse, he had nothing to do with it! And he wasn’t banking on her rambling on and on about her miserable existence, either. He wasn’t involved in any way in her so-called “magical night”, nor was he involved in destroying it. Was she just blaming him for no apparent reason?

Draco glared at her indignantly. “Look, Granger, I don't care about you or any of your stupid female emotional problems! Nor do I intend to ever join in with Potter and Weasley to wreck your sad little life! Nor do I want to hear all your pent up woes and sorrows! If you don't give a damn about anything I have to say what the bloody hell makes you think I give a damn about you?”

Hermione wasn’t the slightest bit fazed.

“Well, that's just it Malfoy! You don't care! YOU DON’T BLOODY CARE!” She screamed loudly, not caring if she woke up the whole castle. “The world may stop spinning, the sun may stop burning, but you would go on with life because you don't give a damn about one bloody thing! Nothing rattles you, nothing baffles you, YOU DON’T CRACK!” Her piercing voice reverberated around cold stone walls bordering the hall.

“You stand there in your calm and cool composure, thinking that no one can see through you! Tell me, does anything faze you, does anything mystify you, does anything at all make you lose control? Like I just did right here?! It was me! I was the one who lost it! Completely and utterly LOST IT! Because I care too much! Just too bloody much!" She yelled at him. Draco could only stare at her.

“I don't even know why this mattered so much to me. Why was I so intent on looking beautiful, feeling happy, only to have them destroy tonight for me? I should have said no when Viktor asked me! It would have made things so much easier because that's what most people expected to happen! Am I right? I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I walked through those doors and whispering to each other saying ‘And here I thought she was crying all alone in her room!’, ‘How the hell did Hermione Granger get a date to the ball?’, ‘Did she threaten to hex Krum if he said no?’. And you stood there, just like the rest of them, unfeeling and uncaring. No emotion of awe, never stunned, never amazed, and never---“

Draco had reached the brink of his temper.

His eyes flashed with anger and he lashed out, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her roughly.

“WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF FOR ONE MOMENT!” He shouted angrily at her, cutting her off. “You stupid girl! Do you know how unbelievably wrong you are about everything?! Everyone saw you, everyone looked at you, and no one could take their eyes off you! You call me unfeeling, uncaring, and you are so used to being right all the time, aren't you, Granger? Well, you've never been more wrong than you have been tonight!’

Hermione appeared to be in total shock, but Draco didn’t stop there.

“I have never been so in awe until you came around that pillar, I have never been so stunned until I saw you walk down those steps, and I have never been so amazed until you strode into the Great Hall looking like the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! And if you want to know whether anything rattles or baffles me, if you want to know if anything fazes me, shocks me, makes me lose control... dammit Granger, if it weren't for tonight, I wouldn't have a single clue how to answer that!”

Hermione’s eyes were wide, staring at him speechless, looking as if she had been petrified. Draco, after recovering, seemed to be in a much more worse state than her. He had an extremely horrified expression on his face, staring right back at her dumbly, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just said.

Which, as a matter of fact, he couldn’t.

Draco realized his hands were still gripping her shoulders tightly, and he finally managed to release her.

An awkward silence passed.

Draco swallowed and cleared his throat. “Well yes, you wanted me to crack, didn’t you?” he said, desperately trying to keep his voice even. “You wanted me to lose my calm and cool composure, right? Well, I guess, as always Granger, you seem to get what you want.”

Hermione lowered her gaze, slightly embarrassed.

“Malfoy, I…I’m sorry—”

Draco waved the apology away. He didn’t really want to hear her trying to fix everything that had transpired tonight. Always logical, always sensible, and he didn’t want her to feel like she had to be like that tonight, either.

“Save it, Granger,” he responded curtly, standing up. “The only apologies we need to hear tonight is from those two idiots, Weasley and Potter. They had no right—no right to wreck your night.”

He turned and started walking away, after contemplating whether or not he should give in to his urge of banging his head repeatedly onto the nearby pillar.

He finally did walk past her even though it wasn’t as he had planned. He still found it hard to accept the fact that he had said all those things out loud. The same words he didn’t even dare to think. Providing that Hermione didn’t say anything, his reputation will still be intact. But the damage was done, but at least it made her shut up.

His mind was set on getting to the Slytherin dungeons as quickly as possible. He thought he was home free when he reached the top step, however…

“Malfoy, hang on!”

Hermione’s voice caused Draco to stop on the stairs and turn around. He sighed exasperatedly.

“Merlin, Granger, don't you think we've already exhausted this matter enough? If you are still unhappy about everything—“

Hermione reached him on the stairs and out of all the things Draco thought she was going to do, this was the last thing he ever expected.

She placed a hand on the right side of his face, leaned in, and pressed her lips gently to his cheek.

It was an innocent thing really, a kiss on the cheek usually meant nothing more than a “hello” or a “goodbye”. So why the hell was he gazing at her as if she grew another head?

He’d been kissed plenty times before, of course, most times rather passionately on the mouth. But, as cliché as it sounds, no kiss had ever affected him the same way her kiss had.

She withdrew and grinned at him. “Exhausted, yes. Unhappy? Not anymore,” she told him lightheartedly, as if she had never been crying or yelling at him just a few moments ago. “This may not be the night I had in mind and even though, no fairytale lasts forever, and this certainly won’t since we may go back insulting each other the next morning, the night didn’t end all too badly, wouldn’t you agree?”

She smiled in goodbye, and headed up the rest of the stairs towards the Gryffindor tower, leaving a bewildered Draco staring after her.

Perhaps she was right. No fairytale ever did last forever and she and Draco would probably go back hating each other as they always did. But one thing was absolutely certain.

Yes, it was official.

That girl had definitely turned Draco Malfoy’s world upside down for good.

- FIN -

A/n: Well, there you have it! And yes, I used the scene from the Goblet of Fire movie and Hermione’s dress robes from the Goblet of Fire book. Forgive me if you found Draco a bit out of character but it is rather difficult to make his view of Hermione change in one night, especially in a one-shot. Can’t blame me for trying, right? Though you never know…he after all couldn’t even find an insult to throw at her during the Yule Ball (winks)! Hope you enjoyed reading it and your comments would be most appreciated!!!

- Mjade

Fanfiction: A Letter To Hermione

2006-07-28T22:53:22Z

Finally got back into the writing scene after a four months hiatus, being stuck and bombarded by a bad case of writer's block on my current fic Dare You To Move!

Anyway, I wrote another story also HP-related but not quite. It was written for a friend of mine to help with the transition chapters in her own story. It is a crossover of Full Metal Alchemist and Harry Potter entitled Cerulean Silver Vs. Amber Gold.

Basically, this fic is a letter written by Draco for Hermione, but one he doesn't intend to send...ever. Strangely enough, in search for inspiration on how to start and because I've never had a broken heart before, it took sometime to put myself in Draco Malfoy's place. Interestingly, I got a bit emotionally involved, but the letter turned out okay. Mostly heated ranting but legible enough! Hee hee! However, I must caution you, it is the definitely the most tragic, sad, and sorrowful piece I have ever written in my entire life, but by all means, enjoy!

Title: A Letter To Hermione
Author: Mjade
Disclaimer: The whole Harry Potter series belong to JK Rowling, and no matter how much I want to own Draco and Remus, I don’t have the authority.
Rating: T/Angst
Warnings: Rather tragic. Not for fragile hearts.
Summary: The fear that is gripping my heart for most of these days is the possibility that you may die. It is funny how much I have denied the existence of having a heart until I felt it breaking. I know I shouldn’t care, I know you should mean nothing to me, and I should just focus on the job at hand, but every time I do it I am slowly dying inside. (HBP Compatible)
Author’s note: Set during sixth year. It is actually an excerpt from hikaranko’s amazing fma/hp crossover, Cerulean Silver vs. Amber Gold (found on fanfiction.net), that I am editing and co-writing with her. Just think of this as a preview to a future chapter. I’ve never written something so sad because I am partial to happy endings, but there’s a first time for everything. Excuse the cliché’s and hope you enjoy!

I must have started a hundred of letters to you, never knowing how to begin. I have sat like this one too many times in some illusion of glory, with a quill in hand and numerous crumpled pieces of parchment scattered across my bedroom floor. I hold my breath as I write each word, wondering why each one of them seems to give me so much grief. I must be foolish in thinking that somehow writing this would bring me closer to you. Hell, I don’t deserve to be closer to you. You owe me nothing and I am nothing to you. I’m just an image, a representation, an epitome of your rage and anger, where all your frustration and fears turn me into something of meaning to you. But that’s all I’ll ever be. You hate me…and I don’t blame you. Merlin knows I deserve that. But I’m not asking for your sympathy. I don’t need pity nor do I need compassion, least of all from you. I don’t write this expecting something—some miracle. I don’t believe in them. Not anymore.

There are so many things I want to say to you; so many things that you need to know. I wish I could tell you that I never meant to cause you so much pain, that I am not the person you think I am, that I can be someone who…but I lack the courage. I am so much of a coward because I know that I meant every single one of that. I am so much of a goddamned coward that I hide behind the mask of the person I should have been, the ideas I should have believed, the misleading uncertainties and irrational fears that was supposed to be me. But now, I don’t even have the slightest clue who I am. I have spent so many years being this one person; this thing that I hated beyond belief but have never stopped being. I can never be the person to make you smile, make you laugh, evoke any positive feeling out of you. I can never be the person who would protect you, who would stand up for you, who would love you…

No, I am not that person. No matter how much I wish I were, how much I pray for it everyday, but I cannot be that person for you. Those privileges were never meant for people like me. I don’t know what love is. I am not sure I have even experienced it. I just know that when I look at you, hear your voice, catch your scent, or even when I allow my mind the slightest thought of you, I get a feeling that is so agonizing yet incredibly invigorating at the same time. And I hate you for it. That is probably the only thing that I have been honest about. I hate you. I do. I hate you for being of Muggle heritage, I hate you for being my rival’s best friend, I hate you for making me feel things I know I shouldn’t be feeling, especially for someone like you. It goes against everything I have ever thought and have ever believed in. With you, nothing in my life makes sense anymore. I can’t even make sense in my own mind anymore.

Do you think that I brought this kind of insanity upon myself? That I haven’t tried to stop it, tried to hold it back, tried to deny it, tried fervently convincing myself over and over and over again that this was nothing; that this whole madness would pass? This is your entire bloody fault, you know that. If you had never entered my life, if you had never existed in the first place, none of these things would have happened. I would have never endured all the anguish, the suffering, the sorrow of wanting something I could never have. I would have never displayed disloyalty to my family, be betrayed by my own thoughts, or felt guilt of wanting to be someone that I’m not.

But, then again, I would never have experienced so much contentment, so much freedom, and so much happiness even for just one blissful moment. But it drives me insane to know how wrong it is to feel that way. Happiness is something I cannot afford to feel. It rules against my family’s ideals of duty, obligation, and honour. And I don’t know what gives you any right to make me realize that there are far more important things than that. And all you had to do was to be your damned noble self. I hate you for doing this to me, but most of all I hate you for taking away all logic and all reason from the world I thought I knew. Yet, in my strange revelation, I never knew that the person I despised so much was the same person I so longed to be with.

However, we can never be together…and I have to live with that knowledge every single day of my life. I know you will always feel nothing but hatred towards me. And I know you long to be with someone else. You will never be laughing with me the way you laugh with him, you will never seek comfort in me the way you seek comfort in him, and you will never look at me the way you look at him. It kills me to know that you are exactly who you should be with. But deep down, I know he doesn’t deserve you. Every time he ignores you, every time he takes you for granted, there is only so much keeping me from killing him with my bare hands. I know that he will never appreciate you the way I do. Despite all of that, I know that you will never be able to see past the mask I have worn for all of these years.

I can no longer protect you for I have placed you in a very dangerous position. Others, who have the ability to hurt many, have found out about my feelings towards you. They believe that you have become a threat to me and to them and they will do everything in their power to stop you. I can’t let that happen, I have to end this. I can only say I’m sorry so many times. I want you to know that I never meant for this to happen but I should have expected it, instead of letting my selfishness and foolishness consume me. At the beginning of the year, I was assigned something that will without a doubt hurt you and everyone you care about. But I have no choice. If I refuse or if I fail to do it, the only person that I have left in the world will die because of it. And if I succeed, I will never forgive myself if I hurt you once again.

The fear that is gripping my heart for most of these days is the possibility that you may die. It is funny how much I have denied the existence of having a heart until I felt it breaking. I know I shouldn’t care, I know you should mean nothing to me, and I should just focus on the job at hand, but every time I do it I am slowly dying inside. The thought of you lifeless, dead—I can’t even begin to imagine it. Life will go on, the world would continue spinning, but the one thing that made me feel alive, even for a short while, would be gone for good. You’ll never know how much you’ve saved me from this hateful person I’ve become and from the raging lies and fear that I was fed over and over again. But, despite that, I cannot stop what I’m doing. No matter how much it is killing me. Why does our world have to be so full of prejudices and discrimination? Why does everything that surrounds us have to be so complicated and conflicted? When can we finally breakthrough and find freedom, looking beyond what our world deems most vital? When will I find a way to ever be with you?

You will probably never get to read this or many of the other letters that I have written. However, this is the last and final one that I would ever write to you. I know I said that I don’t know what love is, but I don’t know how to explain it any other way. I promised myself that for once in my life, I would tell the truth. I would stop denying everything I say or do; it will never prove anything and that is not fair to you. So, as I end this, without you ever knowing how strongly I felt for you, all the pain and pleasure you have given me, the prison and sanctuary I found in you, it has finally become clear to me. And I need to say it before all courage fails me again.

I love you, Hermione Granger.

Goodbye forever,
Draco

- FIN -

A/n: Tissue anyone? As a standalone piece, this could probably be written just before Draco lets the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. Heh heh, well anyway, here’s hoping for a happy ending! Hope you liked it, it’s not my best piece but it’s the first really tragic one I’ve written.

~ Mjade

The Slytherins and Triwizard Champions

2006-07-06T21:34:36Z

Presenting once again dolls that I made for four of my favorite Slytherin characters and the Triwizard champions!

This is what happens when Summer classes are canceled in order to save up money, and partly out of boredom and partly out of desperation to do something semi-productive (or not), I have once again made HP dolls.

These are my own interpretations of the Slytherins: Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, and of course another edge of Draco Malfoy. I've also made doll representations of the Triwizard champions: Fleur Delacour, Cedric Diggory, Viktor Krum, and Harry Potter. Plus using a new dollmaker that includes Hogwarts robes, I made Ginny and Luna & Hermione and Crookshanks.

Take a look!

The Slytherins

The Triwizard Champions

From:

Ginny & Luna

Hermione & Crookshanks

From:

~ Mjade

The J.K. Rowling Interview and Superman Returns

2006-06-29T22:10:06Z

Okay, yes, I know almost everyone has read the article where J.K. Rowling admits that she kills off two people in the seventh book and one character gets a reprieve. However, I just found the clip of that interview in Richard and Judy the other day, and I must say some things she mentioned about the seventh book creeps me out a bit.

Rowling stated that she had written the last chapter of book seven during 1990 and that it only has changed slightly! And she also has said that the two people, whom she didn't intend to die, are main characters (as if that wasn't already obvious). I'm guessing Snape is getting the reprieve, but here's hoping the seventh book doesn't include the tragic demise of Draco Malfoy! I mean, there goes one of the most fascinating characters in the Harry Potter series, not to mention he's dead sexy! Hee hee! However, in an earlier interview Rowling said that Malfoy would never join forces with Harry so yes, there is a rather great possibility that he'd die. Damn!

Speaking of Malfoy, Judy asked Rowling whether she was aware that Draco Malfoy has a rather large fan-base. Rowling's response was a classic roll of the eyes. There was also a few kids on the show allowed to ask Rowling some questions. One of the younger boys mentioned that Hermione was his favorite character, and Rowling laughed and said "You know, you're the only boy who's said that. But did you like her before Emma Watson played her?" or something to that extent. The boy just smiled sheepishly...and I guess we know the answer to that.

Finally, got to go to the movies! Hooray, and yes Superman Returns just opened as well, and I got to watch it yesterday! Verdict: Not bad--not bad at all!

My Movie Rating: A-
Critics'Movie Rating: B

* Don't worry, there won't be any spoilers, so it's safe to read...I think.

I actually thought it was a rather good adaptation of the Superman comic book series. I enjoyed it very much, freakin' awesome! When I was much younger, I've watched most of the Superman movies with Christopher Reeve (the fourth one came out on my birth year), Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman with Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher, and also I've just recently been introduced to the Smallville series by my cousin and have watched the first three seasons on DVD. So, I was a bit put-out when Tom Welling (and Henry Cavill who auditioned) couldn't play Clark Kent, coz I was so used to seeing him in that role.

However, the not very well-known Brandon Routh was no disappointment at all! I loved his portrayal of Clark Kent since, for once, they didn't make him as nerdy as they did with Tobey Maguire for Peter Parker (thank God!), and he was just the perfect build and height of 6'4" for Superman and reminded me a lot of Christopher Reeve. But unlike both Christopher Reeve and Tom Welling, this guy is actually a fan of Superman.

Despite that, I wasn't very happy with Kate Bosworth's portrayal of Lois Lane. Her acting was a bit bland. I mean, she may be Orlando Bloom's girlfriend and all, but as far as her acting skills go...she was just "okay". The role didn't fit her all that well, though she didn't look bad as a brunette.

When Kevin Spacey played Lex Luthor, for some reason I couldn't stop laughing. I found his portrayal hilarious, as a matter of fact. I could have been bias though, since Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor has quickly become my favorite character in Smallville! Hee hee! But I guess the screenwriter didn't have much time to show a back-story or give reason as to why Lex Luthor does what he does instead of making him purely "evil".

Is it me, or does James Marsden keep getting the same role over and over again? Well, at least it doesn't get tiring seeing him in those roles as he proved while portraying Richard White. He's the customary nice guy (probably too nice for his own good), with the charm and proper upbringing, a good lover but not particularly great, one you can be satisfied with, and a very, very safe choice. Plus, he's a pilot in the movie, what more can you ask for? LOL!

So, yes, although I did feel detached (for lack of better word) at certain times during the movie because it didn't really go into the personal lives of the characters, I strongly recommend Superman Returns for fans and non-fans alike! Very entertaining! And you come out longing for a sequel (which they sure as hell should do)! For the sake of not sounding more cheesy that I already do---Oh honestly, just go and see it!

~ Mjade

Draco and Hermione Fanfiction Rec List

2006-06-27T05:10:03Z

Here it is! Finally, the first list of my recommendations for wonderful and complete Draco and Hermione fanfiction stories! Categorized by rating.

An Eternal Flame
Charter: A flame has been lit . . . a raging fire has begun to rise.
"Why is it that hate comes out so easily? Yet love, it gets trapped inside."
Stories that can touch the soul. A Draco and Hermione archive.

Draco & Hermione Fanfiction Recommedation List
(Stories: 33)

K (Content suitable for most ages)
Title: Except Her
Author: Erythros
Summary: He never expected that there would be a time when he would envy the poorest wizard of all time. He had everything, everything he wanted... except her.

Title: Fireflies
Author: Erythros
Summary: “Do you honestly want to share such a great thing, Granger? For once, be selfish,” he replied, glancing up at the other fireflies surrounding them. “Let’s just say that this’ll be our little secret.”

Title: My Guardian Angel
Author: Rage42
Summary: Though sometimes you don't mind me and mostly you don't care, if you ever need me, you know I'll be there. When you have problems and trials that are hard to fight, I will stop my world to make you feel alright.

K+ (Some content may not be suitable for young children)
Title: Caught In A Moment
Author: RoBoC
Summary: Two souls...equal yet opposite, both lost, both struggling to survive in a world that makes no sense to them, both consumed by the fear that haunts them and neither with the faintest idea of where theyre going...

Title: Draco Malfoy, The Amazing Bouncing...Rat?
Author: Maya
Summary: Draco Malfoy, magically transformed into an evil rat. Who is it who always seems to get the evil rats as pets, and what is poor, poor Draco's new name?

Title: Fire And Ice
Author: cyropi
Summary: Hermione and Draco. Gryffindor and Slytherin. Muggleborn and Pureblood. Warm-hearted and frozen soul. Forced to work together, she shatters his beliefs with one well-placed question. And then the fun begins…

Title: Darkness And Light
Author: cyropi
Summary: Love lasts forever – or so they thought. Months have passed, months in which Draco and Hermione’s relationship has deepened. But Lucius has been planning… and he could destroy their love forever. The sequel to Fire and Ice.

Title: Fractions Of An Arrogant Man
Author: attica
Summary: Draco noticed that Hermione had distanced herself from him again like they’d become so accustomed to when they were in public. He reached for her hand and pulled her closer to him, and he felt her smile grow against his bones.

Title: Graduation Pinks
Author: Sapphiregirl for the Dramione Fic Exchange
Summary: Who in their right mind holds a graduation ceremony on Valentine's Day? McGonagall, apparently. PostHBP Seventh Year graduation...with a twist.

Title: How Did You Fall In Love?
Author: Midnight Rain
Summary: A story of love and hate forever locked within two minds. Now a means of escape has found them, in the form of a question from their daughters. So the story begins...

Title: Impressions
Author: Ar-Zimraphel
Summary: A physically and mentally wounded Draco needs someone to help him, whether he wants to admit it or not, after his father lands in Azkaban, his mother is committed to St. Mungo’s, and his entire world crumbles.

Title: Just Around The Eyes
Author: Midnight Rain
Summary: Just around the yes is where you remind me... A man walks in to the bookstore Hermione works in. He looks so much like someone she left behind. Memory bombard her as he asks her if she would like to go get a coffee. That is only the beginning...

Title: Midnight Snack
Author: Erythros
Summary: One night before the War, two foes share a moment of peace.

Title: Rain Dance
Author: anthora3
Summary: “Granger, you have an umbrella, why the bloody hell are you soaking wet?” Draco asked incredulously, noticing how drenched Hermione was. “Am I the only one who gets wet even when I have an umbrella?” she answered.

Title: Someone Else
Author: luckdragon
Summary: All Hermione wants to do is study. (A little fluff. A little snog. A little mystery.)

Title: Watch
Author: Midnight Rain
Summary: She sits there on the bleachers, clutching her diary and watching the only guy she ever loved. Does he love her back? Will he ever love her back? Or will she be forced forever to sit and watch, but never touch?

T (Contains content not suitable for children)
Title: Basketcase
Author: attica
Summary: Alas, the mere notion of its stupidity was overtaken by his new revelations of impossible but possible love, of unMalfoy love, and of bewilderment.

Title: If I Can't Have You
Author: Fuyumi
Summary: Draco muses on Hermione as he watches her across the room.

Title: Linked
Author: Philyra912
Summary: When a Potions assignment has a rare and disturbing side effect on Draco and Hermione, they will learn more about each other than they ever wanted to know.

Title: Macbeth
Author: cyropi
Summary: ‘Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day.’ Voldemort’s second rise to power and a part in Shakespeare’s infamous Scottish Play make this fitting for Hermione – especially when she discovers a darker side to Draco Malfoy.

Title: Of Pictures And Moments
Author: Erythros
Summary: He’d never learn to love her. But then, no matter how excruciating that realization would be… She loved him anyway.

Title: Once Upon A Thyme
Author: zensho
Summary: Draco and Hermione travel back in time and switch stations in life. Both learn tough lessons about family, honour and love.

Title: Pen My Soliloquy
Author: Dusty Emotion
Summary: Not even a second later she was in front of him, shoving him as hard as she could, angry tears brimming in her eyes. “Does anything rattle you, Malfoy!” she cried. “If I told you I hate you right now, would that even matter to you?”

Title: Perhaps It Was Inevitable
Author: Cinnamon
Summary: Lines blurred. Muggleborn, pureblood; blond, brunette; Gryffindor, Slytherin; what did it all mean anyway?

Title: Public Display of Affection
Author: Erythros
Summary: They weren’t much for PDA – that is, Public Display of Affection. After all, he was Draco Malfoy and she was Hermione Granger.

M (Contains content suitable for mature audiences)
Title: A Lovely Delirium
Author: Kyra4
Summary: A mission gone wrong strands Draco and Hermione deep underground, with one of them dangerously injured and their escape route prowled by Death Eaters. Will they be rescued? And how will they cope until they are?

Title: Ennead
Author: Philyra912 for the Dramione Fic Exchange
Summary: Nine moments in the lives of Draco Malfoy and Herimione Granger. Tie in a little mythology, sprinkle with angst and romance, and step back.

Title: Journals
Author: cyropi
Summary: Draco Malfoy, the Head Boy, is depressed and has an unusual method of self-harming to cope with it. Of course it’s only so long before Head Girl Hermione finds out about it… but could her wish to help him change into something more?

Title: Nobody's Girl
Author: Archica
Summary: Alternate Universe fic where all Muggles are dead and Mudbloods are slaves. What happens when Hermione becomes the slave of Draco Malfoy?

Title: Patented Daydream Charms
Author: Padfoot the Marauder
Summary: It had been one of the most wonderful, exciting experiences of her life, yet Hermione was upset. She didn’t understand... How could... It didn’t make any... It’s just... Why did the fantasy-lover in her Patented Daydream Charm look like Draco Malfoy?!

Title: The Nietzsche Classes
Author: Beringae
Summary: The Ministry takes action against the remaining prejudice in the wizarding society and asks Hermione for help. “What do you want? Money? Power? Name your price, Granger. I’m not about to let pride get in my way when an Azkaban sentence is on the line.”

Title: The Rest Of Their Lives
Author: smuggled-muggle
Summary: Voldemort's defeated and now they've got the future to look forward to. Hermione's happily ever after doesn't happen as she had planned, and Draco refuses to live the life planned for him.

Title: We'll Always Have Paris
Author: Melissa D
Summary: Draco and Hermione go on an exchange program to Beauxbatons Academy. They enter a rocky partnership to help each other make it through all of their classes; neither of them thinks falling in love will be part of the deal.
Music Video: At The Beginning
Summary: A D/Hr mv that I made, based on and inspired by Melissa D's wonderful story, "We'll Always Have Paris."

Happy Reading Everyone!

- If there is a broken link, please let me know.
- And yes, there is more to come, but these should keep you busy for a while!

~ Mjade

A Trip to La Jolla and The Boys & Girls Of Harry Potter

2006-06-22T04:56:59Z

Yesterday, I went with my 2 aunts, 3 uncles, 5 cousins, and my great aunt to go around La Jolla!

It was really pretty over there, the ocean, the salty sea breeze, the wind in our hair! And tons of picture taking! The plus was we also got to go to National City, and with all the stores (such as Red Ribbon & Jollibee) we usually find in the Philippines, for a few blissful minutes, I felt like I was back home!

And Yes, I am indeed presenting the Boys and Girls of Harry Potter

Been experimenting with doll maker and paint to create the dolls that represent the wonderful young women and men of the Harry Potter series: Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Padma Patil, Parvati Patil, Luna Lovegood, and Cho Chang. And Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, and Neville Longbottom!

What do you think?

The Girls of Harry Potter

The Boys of Harry Potter

We'll just pretend Harry's scar is covered by his bangs! LOL!

From:

~ Mjade

Filipino Independence Day!

2006-06-12T08:05:45Z

Happy Independence Day To All The Filipinos!

Well, my fellow pinoys, you see, I didn't forget! Living in the US of A hasn't frazzled my mind so much despite all the stress and pressures of life (sudden random forward guys hitting on you and the like) here in the northern hemisphere! Blood is thicker than water my friend: so even with bodies of water (mainly the Pacific Ocean) separating me from my hometown, my 75% Filipino blood has never left me no matter how far apart the country is!

So, of course, as you all may probably know, the Philippines was ruled by Spain for almost over 300 years. But on the twelvth of June, 1898, General Emilio Aguinaldo showed one of the signs of fighting for independence when he flew a flag from the balcony of his home! This was where he called to arms the nation of the Philippines to fight to win their freedom from Spain! However, throughout the years, many nations still tried to claim our land. Finally the Japanese were driven out and full independence and freedom was restored in 1946!

Usually, on this special day, people go to watch the military parades, read and listen to poetry, go to flag ceremonies, or do what pinoys do best...sing, dance, and eat! A LOT! HAHAHAHAHA!

~ Mjade

Hopefully I Get Paid For This!

2006-05-25T08:41:47Z

*YAWN* It's another one of these idiotic things I find on the net at quarter to two in the morning!

Do people actually care? No, they don't but I've never actually taken an internet survey (not counting the ones sent through email in forwards) so I was like why not? Though don't they pay you for taking online surveys? I mean, how does that work exactly? Nevermind.

Obviously, it was very late (or very early in the morning, depending on how you look at it) and I don't know if all my answers were coherent or clear enough. *sigh* Anyway, what's done is done!

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Mjade (not the time to disclose my real name)
Birthday:	22 March 1987
Birthplace:	Honolulu, Hawaii
Current Location:	Middle of suburbia
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Brown (Can I get anymore interesting?)
Height:	5'3" (Curse all the tall people!)
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Ambidextrous (Oh, I wish!)
Your Heritage:	Scotch-Irish/Filipino
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Parisian slip-ons
Your Weakness:	Scottish accents!
Your Fears:	Fear itself!
Your Perfect Pizza:	Gourmet Quattro Formaggi!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Finally, get my driver's liscense!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	My originality of phrases hardly wavers!
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Damn, I'm hungry!
Your Best Physical Feature:	Umm...eyebrows? I don't know.
Your Bedtime:	Bedtime? What Bedtime?
Your Most Missed Memory:	Aww, having a bonfire during Christmas with my family in the Philippines!
Pepsi or Coke:	Neither. I'll settle for Rootbeer!
MacDonalds or Burger King:	MacDonalds? Never heard of it. (Isn't it McDonald's?)
Single or Group Dates:	Group Dates! The more the merrier, I always say!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	NESTEA ALL THE WAY!
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Whip cream!
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Hot chocolate!
Do you Smoke:	I rather eat!
Do you Swear:	Er...not recently.
Do you Sing:	In the shower? Oh, hell yeah!
Do you Shower Daily:	Been pretty much established.
Have you Been in Love:	*sigh*
Do you want to go to College:	In college!
Do you want to get Married:	Honestly, let me enjoy being single for a while!
Do you belive in yourself:	'Course I do! Otherwise, I wouldn't be here now, would I?
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Not really. Though walking to final exams tend to make me feel a bit queasy...ergh!
Do you think you are Attractive:	*Umm...do you* think you're attractive?**
Are you a Health Freak:	No. I'm a FOOD freak!
Do you get along with your Parents:	Sure, I do! Our DNA matches after all!
Do you like Thunderstorms:	They're awesome!
Do you play an Instrument:	Used to, but mostly just for class.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Does a smoothie with liquor count?
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Lately, I've been addicted to Goldfish cheddar crackers. But no, not on any medication of any kind.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Turned down a few. Single! Livin' life! Lovin' it! Now if the guy was Scottish...just kidding!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Haven't gone to the mall in AGES! I need to buy a DVD!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Oreos! I want Oreos! WAH!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Sure, just the other day in fact.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	I haven't performed in a long, long, really long time.
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Don't mean to sound cruel, but if there is going to be any dumping, I'd probably be the one doing it!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Showers are way more fun in my opinion!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	I'm not that bored!
Ever been Drunk:	I find this highly overrated. There are better ways to lose inhibition!
Ever been called a Tease:	No, I rather be called something more substantial than that!
Ever been Beaten up:	Me? Beaten up? You're kidding, right?
Ever Shoplifted:	As I mentioned before, I'm just not that bored!
How do you want to Die:	As long as I don't drown, I'm good!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Que sera, sera!
What country would you most like to Visit:	ITALY, baby!
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Silver...hee hee!
Favourite Hair Color:	For some reason, I seem to be leaning towards brunettes.
Short or Long Hair:	Short hair, long bangs.
Height:	5'9" to 6'2"
Weight:	Does it matter? 130 lbs-150 lbs...I guess.
Best Clothing Style:	Mostly casual, love men in dark colors. Leather, perhaps? Hee hee!
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Non applicable.
Number of CDs I own:	Hmmm...counting the ones with me, right now....er...34.
Number of Piercings:	None...anymore.
Number of Tattoos:	None...anymore.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Hakuna Matata!
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

~ Mjade

Breaking The Da Vinci Code!

2006-05-20T08:33:45Z

Oh my god! Oh my god! I just came back from watching The Da Vinci Code!

My Movie Rating: B+
Critics' Movie Rating: B-

I don't care what the critics say, I absolutely LOVE the movie! Seriously, it was bloody brilliant! My heart was practically hammering against my chest and I was clutching the edge of my seat, despite the fact that I already knew what was going to happen. Apparently, I've read the book. Twice. Although I have to confess that the book was much better, the movie was still fantastic! The movie is going to hit you like bang! bang! bang! It was adventure after adventure. Man, I love historical mysteries!

The characterization was awesome too! At first, I didn't think Tom Hanks would make a good Robert Langdon, but I'm glad I was proved wrong. He was a great choice; really brought the brilliant Harvard Symbologist to life! It had a rather all-star cast with great actors such as Alfred Molina as Bishop Aringarosa, Jean Reno as Captain Bezu Fache, French actress, Audrey Tautou as Sophie Neveu, and Ian McKellen, another fantastic actor, who portrayed Sir Leigh Teabing. Though I must say I especially loved Paul Bettany as the albino monk, Silas, he was so creepy! He was perfect! So was the way he spoke! Honestly, you can come out of the movie theatre and start speaking in a French accent! Hee hee!

So, don't just sit there, go watch it! Though I recommend you read the book before seeing the movie, just so you can grasp the history and facts in order to understand what's going on. Either way, it's a movie you wouldn't want to miss!

Hasn't sparked your interest? Then I suggest clicking the above image to watch the trailer!

Happy Viewing!

~ Mjade

English Essay Test!

2006-05-18T22:18:40Z

Damn, I hate Essay tests!

But at least they are better than multiple choice! Those things are damn tricky!

Ergh! I hate the mornings. I slept at 3:45 am yester--oh I mean today, doing that annoying research paper on Lusitania. Don't know how I managed to finish it, I can't even remember what I wrote...hee hee, well I don't think I'm going to revise it anymore. Just turn it in and I'LL BE FREE!

Then of course, I have summer classes next month.

Anyway, the essay exam for English wasn't too bad. They also had these weird topics to choose from, which were quite funny actually such as:
1. Children are the only proficient sadists.
2. Satan is God's most valuable creation.
3. The advantages of nuclear war.
4. Marriage should be a three-year contract (which, I did, I know I'm boring!)
5. I rather have the bubonic plague (or???) instead of taking Mr.Wozniak's (my English teacher) class again.
7. English 100 is a cruel and unethical punishment.

Yeah, weird huh! So I'm done with my final exams, except the stupid staff people wouldn't buy my books back! Honestly, why force us to pay so much and don't even buy it back just because it's not the custom edition! Hmph!

Well otherwise, LET FREEDOM REIGN SUPREME!

~ Mjade

Math Final Exam!

2006-05-15T19:19:40Z

Oh the horror!

Okay, it wasn't that bad...not like anyone cares.

Just came from that blasted final! I guess it wasn't as hard as I imagined and for once there were no WORD PROBLEMS (which my teacher by the way, insisted there were going to be two)! Still, in a way, it was bloody annoying!

I spent late last night up 'til the early morning studying and going over them! Before I knew it, it was 3:00 am and I had only 2 and a half hours left to sleep! I mean it's bad enough waking up without a good night's worth of sleep and then I have to be bombarded by this case of test anxiety!

Well among the classes that I have finals in...one down, two more to go!

*Yawn* I need to sleep!

~ Mjade

Best Dramione Fanvid in the World!

2006-05-11T17:26:39Z

Oh my god! I've never seen anything quite like it! This has got to be the best Draco & Hermione fan-made video I've ever seen!

This particular fanvid was made by D/Hr shipper, Issa (a.k.a. Fadetonoir), and it is the most well done and creatively manipulated music video (and I've seen a lot, belive me!) set to Nickleback's Far Away! After all, how many vidoes can wake you up at 2:00 am in the morning! I can't even begin to explain how fantastic this vid is so you might as well just watch it!

You seriously don't know what you're missing:
Far Away

Author: Issa
Music: Far Away by Nickleback
Author's Summary: Draco and Hermione were a couple. But all the traits that make him a fabulous Malfoy are the ones that make him a lousy boyfriend. Draco thinks he's over Hermione until they see each other at the Quidditch World Cup and all the memories come flooding back, along with all the words he wish he'd said while he had the chance...
From:

Look out for her holding his hand, the secret Astronomy Tower meeting note, the train ride that never was, and Hermione running towards Draco!

~Mjade

HP Wallpaper and SW Fanvid

2006-05-08T21:34:46Z

Maybe boredom is a gift? I always seem to find something interesting on my aimless searches. Well, interesting to me at any rate!

Geez, I must be the only person who has not seen this wonderful wallpaper yet! Okay, maybe not the only person, but the only one in probably the whole HP fandom! But anyway take a look at this irresistable wallpaper which, at present time, is gracing my desktop background!

Draco Malfoy Wallpaper
by galactic_horizon

I am absoutely in love with this fanart now! Partly because it has reference to my favorite pairing and partly because this is so Draco Malfoy! Him and his irresistible cocky attitude! Make way for the Prince of Slytherin!

Another finding in my aimless search was this Obi-Wan and Padme fanvid, and I haven't seen a good one in a long time. I couldn't help but say "awe" throughout the entire video! Beautiful, touching, sad, and sweet!

Worth a look: Goodbye, My Lover

By: Mya
Music: Goodbye, My Lover by James Blunt
From:
I've recently fell in love with the words of this song and it is perfectly apt for the story of Obi-Wan and Padme!

~ Mjade

Feliz Cinco de Mayo & Happy Birthday Tribute!

2006-05-05T15:32:16Z

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO TO EVERYONE!

Well, I guess this is the first time I've ever celebrated or heard of this holiday, since I came to live in the United States. This Mexican holiday is in commemoration of the 1862 victory by Mexican forces and ordinary citizens over the French soldiers. The battle known as La Battala de Puebla (a.k.a The Battle of Puebla) took place on the actual date of May 5th. Hooray for all the Mexicans!!!

Happy 23rd Birthday Henry Cavill!

Not very well-known though undeniably good-looking! A tribute to the British actor who appeared in movies such as Count Of Monte Cristo, I Capture The Castle, and Tristan and Isolde!

~ Mjade

New LJ Layout

2006-05-04T14:54:56Z

What? I was bored!

Okay, maybe I wasn't that bored. I've actually been really busy this past few days, after all. Either way, what I meant was: I was bored with the original design. So, lo and behold, I changed it!

Well, basically I changed the theme and found a picture to fit the background. After going through several layout designs plus backgrounds I finally found one that I was satisfied with! Hooray for me! LOL!

I was going to make the entry background blank, so that the picture could show through but I had a little trouble reading the text so I left it as is. Anyway, I took the wallpaper without permission *smiles sheephishly*, so I'm going to show you the original picture and credit the talented person who made it!

Original Picture

Into a dragon's flames...
by Nausicaa

What do you think? Isn't it a beautiful manip! Man, if only I could make picture manipulations like that, though I lack the talent and the program. I totally love it so I just had to use it!

I was going for a Star Wars background but (inevitably) I ended up with a Draco and Hermione wallpaper. True (and sadly), you can't see the whole dragon, and not to mention Draco and Hermione, in the background but the color blends well with the theme. Well, obviously. With black, anything goes!

~ Mjade